I’m now into my second week since starting therapy for my PTSD and have been congratulated by the therapist on doing well between my first two appointments.  I explained that the CD he gave me really seemed to help ease a bit of the anxiety when we had a big storm roll through…and I haven’t run even when I wanted to.

However, since then we’ve had storms (or the chance of since not all hit us) of some whoppers of storms every single night and my nerves are fried.  I haven’t been sleeping, first of all, because Xavier messed up my weather radio and I haven’t figured out how to get it programmed for my county again.  It alerts for the county to our south-east.  Yup, that’s real helpful.  No sleep after three days leaves me physically not able to function…and all the stress on top of not sleep leaves me mentally unable to function, either.

I went to sleep last night at 10:30pm when the local weather people said it would be a few hours before any storms got here.  I woke at 2am, looked at the radar, and said, “Screw it, I’m going back to sleep.”  Woke at 4:45 when Mark left for work and turned off my radar (and turned it back on).  And then woke at 8am when Xavier was ready to get up.  I guess it had rained a bit here and there at some point.  I didn’t hear it.  And even though the sleep was broken-up, I feel like I’ve actually GOTTEN some sleep and am now prepared to take on today/tonight weather-wise and make it through to tomorrow (when it’s supposed to finally stop storming for a few days!!).

Making it through to tomorrow will bring on a whole new set of stressors, though.

First, we have our bi-annual eye exams.  It shouldn’t be a big deal…but we have three of us who have to get checked and one toddler who gets really irritated at having to wait an hour and a half for us to all get done.  Sabrina’s reached the age where she thinks it would be “cool” to have glasses.  She’s convinced she needs them.  If she only knew how much of a pain in the butt it is to not be able to see without help.  Like, I’ve been wearing the same set of contacts day and night for the past year or so. (Yes, I know it’s bad for you.) I would normally take them out at night…but Xavier broke my glasses and we’ve not had the money to replace them.  AND, I got to my last set of contacts last year and realized I was over-due for an exam, so I couldn’t get new ones until I saw the eye doctor.  No time to do that.  So, same contacts for the past year.  I’m lucky that I can do it…most people couldn’t.

Xavier thought about throwing a wrench into the works yesterday with an unexpected bout of puking.   We’re still not sure what it was all about.  It came out of nowhere and seemed to go back to wherever it came from just as quickly after a nap.  He’s back to his old self and we’re baffled…but at least we won’t have to cancel our anniversary plans!

Mark and I will be married 14 years on Tuesday the 27th.  Tuesdays don’t work well for celebrating much of anything…so we’re doing it this weekend.  Saturday evening/night, to be precise.  This also brings about some stress.  Not the anniversary *heehee*, we’re proud of having been married this long and still loving each other.  But we’re actually going to be at a hotel for the first time since our wedding night without the kids.  I wouldn’t stress about it except for the fact the kids are staying at their grandparents.  With Sabrina, she was always at one set or another’s.  After the first time, I was pretty relaxed about her staying the night if Mark and I wanted to go out or just wanted a break.  With Xavier, though, it’s been totally different.  HE’S totally different.

He’s never spent the night anywhere without Mark or me.  Granted, his “sissy” will be with him and so will grandma which in and of itself should be enough to calm me.  However, grandma doesn’t pay as much attention to keeping him safe as I think she needs to…and that terrifies me.  And he DOES have to be watched to keep him safe.  He will get into anything and everything he can just to see what it does or could do if you mess with it enough.  He eats anything he picks up (last night it was the lead from a mechanical pencil *sighs*), he climbs on stuff he shouldn’t…and falls.  And they have one hell of a staircase that’s got me wound-up.  And no “baby gate” at the top or bottom to keep him off of them.  *Sighs* 

I know that he’ll be fine.  They raised two active boys in that home.  And sissy will be there to help watch over him, too.  I just don’t want to have the anxiety over him keep me from enjoying our anniversary get-away!

We’re going to the hotel that has freebies of all sorts.  Free foods from 5:30-7:30 including 3 free drinks per adult.  Free full breakfast in the morning.  Plus they have an indoor/outdoor pool and a hot tub.  I booked us the two-room suite just because I could.  I’m so ready for the time away from the kids, time WITH my husband, and some nice pampering by the hotel. 

Yup…weather, kids, and anniversaries…it’s that time of year!

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