A few things have been weighing on me lately.  Some I can do something about, some I can’t, as of yet….but all are on my mind.

I’ve been out of high school for 17 years now, and I find it funny that there are some who still don’t seem to be able to leave it all behind.  Facebook brings it out, I guess.  When you work in a position where it might not be “grand” to have people who aren’t the prettiest, best, most likely to succeed as part of your history, you can just wipe then out by saying you don’t want an old photo by one of them tagged.  Then, no matter who might try to tag you later….they can’t do it!!!  So, you’ve successfully eliminated those people from your lives.   Someone I went to school with did this today….and I “unfriended” her because of it.  She has somewhere over 5-HUNDRED photos of her (those are the ones that are tagged), but took the tag off this one photo either because she didn’t like the way she looked in high school or because she didn’t like the person who happened to have the photo.  Either way, it’s immature and, well, plain stupid to decide that she didn’t want it tagged.  We ALL have photos that we look back on and go, “Oh, man!”.  It’s part of the fun, I think, of getting older.  We can look back and realize how far we’ve come.  My irritation continues and if I were a lesser person I’d just send her a message telling her why I decided that I couldn’t be “facebook friends” with her, anymore.  (LOL)  But, since I’m pretty sure I’ve come far enough to avoid that, I’ll just blog about it all, instead! 🙂

Another of my thoughts, lately, is this stinking weather.  Most who know me know I’m a bit of (ok, a LOT of) a storm-freak….I despise them….especially when there’s the slightest elevated risk of tornadoes.   This became a HUGE issue after being in the path of a tornado; it happened to lift right across the street from the house I was cowering in at the time.  Before that I “just didn’t like them”.  Now I have a phobia….EXTREME phobia.  As in, I will drive states away to avoid even the possibility of them.  🙂  Thursday afternoon I drove to just north of KC and got a hotel room for me and the kids for the night.  I watched the storms unfold on the computer while the kids watched cartoons on cable (something we don’t have at home)….in between we went swimming and got some Chinese delivery.  I slept well (except for the damn air-conditioning in that place….OMG what a screwed-up MESS!) and awakened (mostly) refreshed.  I checked the weather and the forecast for home and realized that I was essentially screwed unless I wanted to drive well north of home which would entail keeping the kids in the car for a good 6-7 hours.  NOT going to happen.  I went home, instead.  I found, when I got home, a bit of damage from the morning storm that had gone through, but the house was fine, so no big deal.  I smiled as I watched the NWS change the outlook from a moderate risk of severe weather to a slight.  Life was good.  Then….they put us into a tornado watch.  We went back from a slight to a moderate risk of severe storms and they upped our chance for tornadic activity.  I was still ok…for a bit.   Mark got home.   I paced.  He told me if I had to go somewhere with the kids again tonight, it was ok.  (This is because he’s starting to understand the severity of my phobia and that I’ve promised to seek help with it…..but it still irritates the crap out of him)  I managed ok until the storms just hung over us….they didn’t seem to move at all.  I loaded the kids up in the car and went “for a drive” not expecting to be gone long…just until the storms blew through.  There wasn’t even a severe thunderstorm warning at that time!!   

As I drove to the west on the gravel, I was met with a little bit of hail.  “Oh, hail….fun.” I said to my daughter.

I came to the crossroads (literally and figuratively) and had to decide….go north and drive right into the rain that would keep me from moving very quickly or go south and head under the “tail” of the storm…but was rain-free and I could move faster????

I chose south.

As we were about halfway to the highway the wind was picking up and I saw, out of my window (which would be to our east, at the time), the swirling of the beginning of something I didn’t want to be near.  “Oh, shit!”, was all that came out of my mouth and I sped up, trying to get to the highway so I could get back to the west.  Sabrina was just saying, “What???  What, ‘oh shit’??”  and all I could say was “Hold on!”.  As we crossed over onto the highway and were back into what was, at the time, clear skies, the warning came over the radio that there was a tornado warning for the area we’d just driven out of.  Then, soon, another for not far from our house.  In-between I called my husband and told him to keep an eye out because we’d “seen” the circulation that they were talking about.  I still haven’t told him we drove right under the beginning of it!

All turned out well.  No more damage to our area, no damage other than crops from the tornado (it’s the one confirmed just outside of St. Charles), and we managed to avoid any more storm activity for the day while out driving to Ogden and back! LOL

So, now it’s time to get some help for the phobia, I guess.  I’ve promised my husband I’d do it.  My kids are probably going to be sad because I’ll mean a lot fewer hotel stays which means less cable and fewer trips to indoor pools.  But if I’m going to manage to stay in Iowa for the rest of my life (as it looks like is going to happen) I’m going to have to learn to NOT run when they say it might storm and there could be tornadoes!

Monday, I’ll be on the phone to the local mental heath center to see if they have someone or can put me in touch with someone who can help treat PTSD….that is my assumption as the phobia hasn’t been this bad until after the tornado.  But…to be honest, I’m a bit afraid of LOSING the fear because, then, I’m afraid I’ll miss something I should have seen and put us in danger because I wasn’t paying attention!   Guess that’s one of the things I’ll have to talk about….

Isn’t it funny how it all works?